Conversation Over Pizza
by Ardwolf
Summary: A harmless lunch invitation reminds the Titans that even superheroes shouldn’t judge a book by its cover…
1. Too Quiet

A harmless lunch invitation reminds the Titans that even superheroes shouldn't judge a book by its cover...

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or any of the characters or locations mentioned in this story. Any resemblance to persons living or dead would be truly disturbing as every individual mentioned herein exists only as a figment of the collective imagination...

This story takes place about a month after the Titans return home from _Trouble In Tokyo_.

* * *

"Robin, why do you have the long face?" Starfire asked in concern. "The day is glorious! Since we have returned home there have been no villains to break the peace. The sun is cheerful and I wish us to go to the park for the eating of questionable sausages."

"That's just it, Star." Robin replied, frowning. "It's been nearly a month and we haven't seen a single criminal. Not even a pickpocket. Something isn't right."

"Most of the truly dangerous criminals joined with the Brotherhood of Evil, did they not?" Starfire said. "When we defeated the Brotherhood they also were captured."

"Slade wasn't." Robin growled. "Ordinary criminals weren't either. No bank robberies, no muggings, no assaults, it's like the underworld's on vacation!"

"Today, for my sake, will you not join with your friends Robin? It is as you say--the city is quiet. So please. Come with us." Starfire looked at him sadly with wide eyes. "You work so hard to protect us all, Robin." She continued. "But today, lay aside your troubles. Share with me the tangy yellow beverage and heat the dogs."

Robin wasn't terribly practiced in the art of romance--he and Star had been together that way for less than two months--but those huge green eyes had always been able to sway him from the first day he'd known her.

"I guess one day won't hurt." He admitted grudgingly. Starfire squealed with glee, grabbing him in a bone crushing hug and hurtled them both down the hall, flying six feet off the floor.

"Dude!" Beast Boy protested as they shot past. "Watch where you're flying! You almost knocked me down!"

"Much sorrows, friend Beast Boy!" The red-haired girl called back. "Come join us in the picking of the nick!"

"Say what?" Beast Boy's brow creased as he tried to work out Starfire's fractured English. Turning into a sparrow he flew after the rapidly disappearing alien and her captive boyfriend.

"Friend Cyborg, friend Raven, let us journey forth to the park where we shall consume vast quantities of junk food in glorious good fellowship!" Starfire released Robin, who bent over wheezing, trying desperately to pull in the breath her grip had squeezed out of him.

"Whoa, Star!" Cyborg said with a grin. "We haven't been to the store in a week--and a certain green piggy's been at the fridge again." He glared at Beast Boy who rubbed the back of his head ruefully.

"Heh, well my metabolism needs a lot of food." Beast Boy said with a crooked grin. Raven raised an eyebrow.

"What metabolism? You've spent the last week planted in front of the TV." She said in a monotone. "In fact, the only muscles you've been using were in your thumbs."

"That's not true!" He protested. "I had to move pretty fast to get a snack when the commercials came on. I'd like to see _you_ make a Dagwood during an antacid commercial!"

"I stand corrected." She said dryly. "So you exercised your mouth and stomach too. Charles Atlas would be _so _proud."

"Yeah!" Beast Boy nodded in vindicated satisfaction. Raven rolled her eyes.

"Oh." Star deflated. "Well, perhaps we can go for the pizza and then gambol in the park?" Her eyes closed to slits as she beamed, her alien physiology turning the pleased expression into something that made the rest of the Titans cringe.

"Um, ooo-kkayy." Cyborg said watching in fascinated horror as the corners of Starfire's mouth disappeared behind her earlobes.

"And I thought my father had big teeth." Raven commented quietly. "Starfire, you should do that to the next bad guy we meet."

"For what reason, friend Raven?" Starfire asked, cocking her head, the maniacal grin vanishing into a puzzled expression. The gray skinned sorceress started to answer, but she just couldn't speak the words in the face of Starfire's innocent puzzlement.

"Never mind." She mumbled, turning away helplessly. "Pizza it is, then."

"Hey Cyborg, this time can we _please_ get tofu--" Beast Boy started to say.

"_No_. Tofu is evil!" The half-metal teen retorted.

"Dude, tofu is _so_ not evil!"

"Oh yeah? Then what invaded Earth and was stealing cows? Not to mention planning to blow up the planet?" Cyborg glowered down at the shape shifter.

"Ok, so _space_ tofu is way evil." Beast Boy admitted reluctantly. "But you _dealt _with that!"

Cyborg turned slightly green. "Don't you dare remind me how neither! Blech."

Beast Boy smirked. "Barbeque sauce. Heh-heh..."

Cyborg glared. "I told you not to remind me!"

"You know every time we get pizza you two argue over what kind." Raven commented in exasperation. "Can't you agree on something? Anything?"

"No!" The two shouted in unison then returned to their argument. The girl shook her head and thought longingly about meditation.

"Friends, I know you take--great joy--in the choosing of the pizza." Starfire interjected diplomatically. "But it can be quite loud, and may disturb the peace. Is this not a crime?"

The two arguing titans paused, blinking.

"Um, Starfire disturbing the peace usually means fighting." Robin said tactfully.

"But Robin, do we not fight against criminals?" Starfire asked plaintively. "Are we then breaking the law?"

"Well, no, not really." He said helplessly. As usual, Starfire's logic was as impeccable as it was wrong--but Robin was at a loss to explain _why _to his earnest but clueless girlfriend.

"Star, it's 'cause we're the good guys." Beast Boy said, grinning. "We fight to stop the bad guys from hurting people."

"Amazing." Raven commented. "Beast Boy actually making sense. Will wonders never cease?" Beast Boy beamed at her.

"I am relieved." Starfire said, smiling. "I would not want to be a criminal for fighting against bad people. That would be too confusing."

The conversation continued as the group made its way to the bottom of the tower, and Cyborg's beloved T-car. As usual Cyborg raced through the underground tunnel that connected the island to the mainland, hunching happily over the wheel and pressing the accelerator firmly against the floor. The other Titans grinned too, except for Raven who considered Cyborg's speed obsession foolish and dangerous.

She kept silent and gritted her teeth though, considering it interest on the massive debt she owed her friends--a debt she could never repay. A debt all the larger in her mind because they would insist she owed them nothing at all.

Cyborg slowed only when he approached the tunnel's armored exit gate, which obediently cycled fully open as the T-car approached. The late-morning sunlight poured through the opening, boosting everyone's spirits.

"Glorious!" Starfire chuckled, beaming at the city around her. "It is days like this I treasure the most. No one is fighting, the world is filled with the bright colors of joy, and the birds sing most beautifully. Sharing it with friends makes it truly special. Friend Raven, does the day not speak to you?"

"I don't know, I can't hear anything except Beast Boy's grumbles about how tofu isn't evil." Raven answered serenely. "The truth is I've been meditating since we left the tunnel."

"Robin, do you not feel the joy of the day?" Starfire asked brightly. He turned and smiled at his alien girlfriend, thinking how much she added to the day's joyfulness. In many ways Starfire had the personality of a cocker spaniel--including the uncanny ability to make everyone around her try their best not to make her sad. This, oddly enough, ended up making _them_ feel better as well.

He watched her smiling at him. Red hair framed an orange-skinned face, with a small nose and enormous green eyes that were _all _green--pale green whites with darker green irises. Her eyebrows covered only a tiny part of inside of the brow. She would never be mistaken for a human--but to him she was the most beautiful girl in the world. He didn't say anything, just smiled back. Starfire wasn't offended, Robin was quiet most of the time, and she knew the silence spoke volumes.

"We're here folks!" Cyborg announced cheerfully, slipping the T-Car skillfully into a parking space right in front of their favorite pizzeria. The teens boiled out of the car with high hopes and hungry bellies. Beast Boy bounded up to the door well ahead of the others. He pulled on the door, expecting it to open. It didn't. There was a loud _clack_ as the door rattled in its frame.

"Dude! The door's stuck!" Beast Boy called back to the others. "Hey Cy! A little help here?"

"It's not stuck, Beast Boy." Raven said calmly. "It's locked. Look at the sign."

"Closed for remodeling?" Beast Boy's pointed ears drooped a good three inches. "Dude, that's so unfair! This is the best pizza in town! Nobody else even comes _close_. How can they be closed for remodeling?"

"Simple. They lock the door and put up a sign." Raven said quietly. "I'm thinking all the villains blowing things up around here might have something to do with it."

"Place has been beat up pretty bad on occasion." Cyborg said reflectively. "Starting with Starfire's arrival on Earth."

"I am very sorry for the damage I caused that night." Starfire said, blushing. "I was--upset about being given as a prize to the Gordanians."

"Nobody's blaming you, Star." Cyborg said easily. "I'd have been tee-d off too if I was heading for a lifetime of slavery to a bunch of lizards."

"Cinderblock and Plasmus didn't help the décor either." Raven put in. "And Terra pretty much trashed the place--" She stopped, glancing at Beast Boy guiltily.

"She wasn't herself." Beast Boy waved away Raven's comment. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Terra was a sensitive subject with Beast Boy. Having one's first love try to kill you and your friends can have that effect on a relationship...

"Bottom line is we're not going to get lunch here." Robin said briskly. "So where should we go?"

"I know a terrific pizza place." A mild voice said from behind them.


	2. Ask Not On Whom the Shoe Falls

Robin spun instinctively, one hand reaching for his retractable staff the other raised defensively. Raven reacted similarly, black energy forming around her hands. The other Titans turned more slowly, Beast Boy's ears swiveling forward alertly. Starfire and Cyborg merely stood relaxed and curious.

On seeing who had spoken Robin stood up from his combat stance and relaxed a bit. Raven let the blackness fade away but didn't relax.

"Sorry about that." Robin said somewhat apologetically. "You startled me, Mr....?"

"Smith." The man answered with a friendly smile. "I should be the one apologizing. I wasn't thinking. It's not a good idea to startle superheroes. My shoes don't make much noise, I guess."

Robin studied the man. Late middle age, Robin guessed, overweight and wearing a dark gray suit. He was balding with short brown hair around the sides of his head. His shirt was white and he had a tie of pale dove gray. His face looked ordinary; it wasn't tanned, red, or even pasty white.

In fact he was quite the most _ordinary_ person Robin had ever seen. The shoes were brown with crepe soles, which would explain how he'd arrived without Robin hearing him. He didn't appear to be a threat, just an ordinary citizen.

"Dude, you know a place that serves a better pizza than _here_?" Beast Boy broke in excitedly. Raven, still wary, rolled her eyes.

"Well, yes, actually." The man said to the green skinned shape shifter. He didn't seem freaked out by Beast Boy's appearance. In fact he seemed to be positively blasé, not staring the way most people did.

"Don't get me wrong, this place serves a pretty darn good pizza." The stranger continued. "But if you want the _best _pizza you have to go to Huey's. They've got pizza that's out of this world." The man closed his eyes and smiled, making an oddly Italian gesture, kissing his fingers and then extending his arm. He blinked at the teens.

"And the salads are top notch too." He winked at Raven. "Goat cheese and sun-dried cranberries, with toasted pine-nuts for flavor. Field greens and romaine lettuce. I'm betting you'd like it. You're Raven, right?"

"Yes." The gray-skinned girl pulled back her hood to get a better look at Mr. Smith. She couldn't read him, which bothered her. She should have been able to sense more than the affable surface. It was like trying to read through brightly sunlit water. There was no _depth_.

"Do they make tofu pizza?" Beast Boy asked hopefully.

"No, afraid not." The man said shaking his head. Beast Boy's ears drooped till the points almost touched his shoulders. "On the other hand, they make over half a dozen vegetarian pizzas, including one with Portabella and Shitake mushrooms."

"Dude! Shrooms!" Beast Boy's ears shot straight up. "I _love _shrooms." He started to drool. "We have _so _got to try this place Robin!"

"This Huey's place have any pizzas with meat?" Cyborg asked, with a look of concern.

"Absolutely!" Mr. Smith leaned forward. "They got all types of pork, they got pepperoni--and it's the _good _stuff. They even have _Amish_ chicken. And you can get it on red sauce, white sauce, or _barbeque_ sauce. Their BBQ chicken pizza's one of my favorites. Of course I don't get the red peppers--gives me heartburn."

"Oh, and check this out--they have _meatball pizza_!" He grinned at the dark-skinned Cyborg.

"Oh my." Cyborg started to drool. "Big fat ones?" Mr. Smith nodded happily, holding a thumb and forefinger two inches apart. "Well, what are we waiting for? I vote we head over there right now!"

"Please, do they have the fuzzy fish?" Starfire inquired timidly. "I am very fond of them. They go very well with the tangy yellow beverage."

"Anchovies? Yup." Mr. Smith said nodding. "Huey's prides itself on the quality of their ingredients too. Best pizzas _anywhere._"

"So where is this Huey's?" Raven asked, outwardly tranquil. She caught Robin's eye and made a tiny gesture with the hand on the side of her body hidden from the stranger's view. He nodded imperceptibly.

"Two blocks that way, and take a left at Albuquerque. It's one of those hole-in-the-wall places." Mr. Smith pointed north. Robin's eyes narrowed. He knew Albuquerque Street very well, and had never seen a pizzeria there.

"Dude, let's check it out!" Beast Boy said enthusiastically, giving Cyborg the high sign.

"Mind if I tag along?" Mr. Smith asked casually. "I was going to have lunch here because it was closer, but talking about Huey's makes me want one of their X-pepperoni's." He grinned at the group.

"No problem." Robin said easily. "It's a beautiful day, why don't we just walk? It's only a couple of blocks you said?"

"Yep." Mr. Smith started walking north. Beast Boy and Cyborg fell into step beside him, keeping up the conversation. Robin let the three go ahead so he could have a quiet word with Raven.

"Trouble?" He asked quietly, holding his hand out to Starfire, who smiled uncertainly as she listened.

"Maybe." Raven said quietly. "I can't read him, Robin. He's all surface, nothing else. It's like 'Mr. Smith' is a paint job hiding what's underneath. My bet is he's not a civilian."

"Please, you suspect Mr. Smith of hiding something?" Starfire asked uncertainly. "He is dangerous?"

"I don't know, Starfire. He's hiding _something_, but I don't know what it is."

"There's no pizzeria on Albuquerque Street." Robin said quietly. "So where's he really taking us?"

"Why must the bad people always sneak about and tempt us with the fuzzy fish?" Starfire sighed. "I am sorry, Robin. It seems the city is not so quiet as I had believed."

"Starfire, calm down." Raven said coolly. "He might have natural mental shields. It's rare, but a few people do."

"Then I might actually obtain the fuzzy fish?" She asked hopefully. Raven shrugged.

"Got me. Personally, I don't see the appeal."

"Oh, the fuzzy fish are most tasty, friend Raven! They are best when covered with zorka berry jam, of course."

"Of course." Raven suppressed a shudder. She'd foolishly allowed herself to be persuaded to try zorka berries once. Never again. Ever. With extra _ever_.

Robin increased his pace to join Mr. Smith and the other two Titans. When they turned left on Albuquerque Street he felt a faint wave of vertigo hit him. If he hadn't been on heightened alert he might have missed it.

"That's funny." Cyborg remarked, holding up his arm. "My GPS system just went offline." He fiddled with his arm for a moment, and then frowned. "Now that's just freaky. My receivers are working fine. Something's blocking the GPS signal."

"We're not on Albuquerque Street." Robin announced grimly. He stopped, reaching across Raven to pull Beast Boy back. Mr. Smith walked a couple of steps further before he realized most of the Titans weren't following him anymore. He turned to face them with a puzzled look.

"All right _Mr. Smith_, or whatever your name is." Robin snarled. "Who are you, and what's your game? Where are we?"

"My name really _is _John Smith." The stranger said. "My parents' little joke, I'm afraid. My game was to bring you to Huey's Pizza for lunch. And as you can see, we're just down the street from Huey's." He waved down the street where a cheerful yellow awning sported the planet Saturn with an ornate Old-English H in the middle.

Robin stared, open mouthed. It _was _a pizzeria, he could see people coming and going, some of which had unmistakable pizza boxes in their hands. But he didn't recognize anything on the street. Spotting a street sign he squinted.

"Madison Road?" He said. "There's no Madison Road in Jump City."

"Well, no, I don't suppose there is." Mr. Smith admitted.

"Wait, so your name really _is_ John Smith?" Beast Boy was grinning.

"Afraid so, Beast Boy." Mr. Smith grinned back. "Smith is the most common last name in America. John is the second most common first name." He spread his hands. "I actually looked it up. My parents swear it wasn't deliberate..." He rolled his eyes.

"If we're not in Jump City, where are we?" Robin asked, eyes narrowing. "Exactly."

John Smith scratched his ear and frowned. "Well, that's a complicated question, Robin. We're in Cincinnati, actually. But not the Cincinnati you could drive to from Jump City. You couldn't drive to Metropolis or Gotham City from here either."

"Please, I do not understand." Starfire said. "If there is no Jump City how could we have walked here from there?"

"Tell you what." Mr. Smith said after a moment. "Why don't I treat you to lunch and we can talk about it over food. I promise you Huey's makes the best pizza you've ever had. After lunch we'll stroll back to Jump City and I'll take my leave. Deal?"

"Do we have a choice?" Raven asked drily. Mr. Smith looked shocked.

"Of course you have a choice! Tell me now and I'll take you straight back this very instant! Of course you'll miss out on the best damn pizza in the multiverse..."

"Dudes, its _shrooms_." Beast Boy begged. "Cyborg, the meatball pizza? Starfire, the fuzzy fish? Come on, Robin. How many people get to eat lunch in another _universe_? Please?"

"Raven, what do you think?" Robin asked softly.

"We're here." She said calmly. "It's pizza. Everybody except for us and Mr. Smith are civilians, as far as I can tell. And I'm hungry. I say go for it."

"Fine." Robin said. "You win, Mr. Smith. But you _are_ going to explain yourself, understood?" Robin said sternly.

"You have my word, Robin." Mr. Smith promised. "Oh, and speaking of words, a word of caution. A lot of people here will recognize you as Teen Titans. But in this universe the Teen Titans exist only as _cartoon characters_. So they'll think you're actors playing the Titans."

He smiled at the shock on their faces. "Trust me, for the couple of hours you'll be here its better this way. If anyone asks you for an autograph, let them have one. Don't display _any _superpowers, ok? That goes double for you, Beast Boy. And do watch your ears, would you? This universe doesn't have the technology to fake your ear movements outside a special effects studio."

"Dude, I can't control my ears!" Beast Boy protested.

"Why should his ears be any different than the rest of him?" Raven asked sarcastically. Beast Boy glared at her.

"Very funny, Raven. At least I _show_ expressions!"

"True." She said calmly. "And I don't. Deal with it."

"Humph." He snorted. Mr. Smith grinned at Beast Boy.

"Shall we go to lunch?" He asked.


	3. Marisu

Huey's turned out to have a huge window into the kitchen so the patrons could watch the pizzas being made. The tables and chairs were plain, the décor muted and minimalist. The most colorful part of the place were the red and white checkered walls. The Titans looked around, obviously not impressed.

The waitress looked the group up and down, grinning.

"Welcome to Huey's pizza. Is this your first visit?" She asked, staring hard at Cyborg, a glint in her eye. He smiled back and nodded, returning her stare with interest. She led them to a pair of tables that she quickly moved together.

"Let me get you some more menus. Be right back." The Titans settled around the tables, Mr. Smith seated to Robin's left. The tables were in a corner away from the rest of the light crowd. Robin noted the crowd seemed to be college age students.

"So, Mr. Smith. Care to tell us why you brought us here?" Robin said quietly.

"Well, to have lunch, naturally." Mr. Smith's smile seemed genuine enough. "Also, I wanted to meet you face to face--I'm something of a fan. Heroes fascinate me, especially superheroes. I could never do what you do and I hoped to have a pleasant conversation about what you do and contrast it to what I do."

"Let me guess, you're an accountant." Beast Boy chimed in with a grin. Mr. Smith cocked his head.

"In a way, Garfield Logan." He smiled. "But I don't balance corporate ledgers. My balancing is a bit more--concrete."

"Dude, how'd you know my name?" Beast Boy stared at Mr. Smith in shock.

"Garfield Logan?" Raven raised an eyebrow. Cyborg grinned evilly, obviously calculating how to use this information in their constant game of "Getting Even". Although both he and Beast Boy were far more circumspect since Starfire and the motor oil...

"Well, I did say I was a fan. Ah, our menus." He smiled up at the waitress, who efficiently passed out the menus.

"Will this be one check or separate?" She asked.

"One check please." Mr. Smith replied.

The waitress took their drink orders and paused, just before leaving the table. "Cyborg, your costume is absolutely amazing. It looks so _real_. I'm afraid I don't recognize you though. Can I ask your name? And when does the movie come out? Bet it's going to be terrific!"

"We haven't actually started shooting yet." Mr. Smith interjected smoothly. "It probably won't be out for a couple of years though--you know how long the special effects take in these kinds of movies. Also, the director is adamant about method acting. He wants the actors to stay in character even outside of work. You understand."

"Of course." The waitress eyed Cyborg again. "Pity. Let me go get your drinks."

"That was clever." Raven said flatly after the waitress disappeared. "So tell me, Mr. Smith. What are you?"

The other Titans leaned forward to hear the answer. He leaned back in his chair and thought a moment.

"I'm a _marisu_." He finally said, shrugging. The Titans traded blank looks.

"Please, a _marisu _is an alien, yes? You are not of this world?" Starfire asked finally. Mr. Smith shook his head.

"No, Starfire. Technically speaking, all of _you_ are aliens; you are not of this world. I was born in this city, to human parents."

"So what's a _marisu_ then?" Beast Boy asked, scratching his head.

Mr. Smith frowned. "Well, it might help to tell you what a _marisu _isn't. We aren't demons, or gods, or aliens. But we can be mistaken for any of the above. So it isn't a so much a description of what we are, it's more a description of what we do."

He brightened. "You remember Larry don't you?"

Robin shuddered and the other Titans looked wary. The waitress came with their drinks, forcing them to fall silent. Mr. Smith took up a menu and started making recommendations. The Titans were hungry enough to concentrate on the menus so they could actually get some food.

After the orders were given and the waitress was safely out of earshot Robin took up the conversation again.

"What's Larry got to do with you?"

"Well, Larry's a _marisu_, like I am. Did Batman ever tell you about the _marisu_ that plagued Superman, called Mr. Mxyzptlk?"

"Yes." Robin said. "But I thought he was a fifth dimensional being or something?"

"He is." Mr. Smith nodded. "I did say that the word _marisu_ describes what we do, right? A _marisu_ can be from any race, or any place, from any universe. The Fantastic Four had to deal with a _marisu_ they named Impossible Man, a Poppupian--an alien. In the far future of your timeline the Legion Of Superheroes has to deal with the planet Zarok, a whole planet of _marisu_. The particular thorn in their side is named Zyx, a _marisu _child. As you might imagine _marisu _children can be particularly troublesome."

The food arrived, stopping the conversation for a while. The plain surroundings belied the food, even Raven found herself relaxing and enjoying her meal.

"Dude, you did not lie. This is the best pizza _ever_." Beast Boy said blissfully through a mouthful of cheese and mushrooms. Cyborg nodded enthusiastically as he plowed through a large pizza all his own, piled high with every meat Huey's served.

"Yes, friend Smith. The fuzzy fish are truly superb!" Starfire said with a bottle of mustard in one hand, straw rammed deep in the bottle, a slice of pizza in the other. Much to everyone's surprise the waitress brought another bottle of mustard when she refilled the drinks without being asked. Starfire thanked her profusely. The waitress shook her head in disbelief but grinned all the way back to the kitchen.

Once the pizza and salads had been demolished their next interruption was a gangly college student who wanted Raven's autograph. Somewhat bemused the half-demon obliged. After that, some sort of intangible curtain seemed to surround them, as no more interruptions occurred.

"So, I get _marisu_ is a job description." Robin said. "But what's the job?"

"Good way of putting it." Mr. Smith nodded, and belched quietly. "Oh, excuse _me_. Anyway, to answer your question what does the word _marisu_ mean in Japanese?"

"It means malice." Starfire said slowly. She stared at Mr. Smith. "But you do not seem to bear malice towards us. So I do not understand."

"_Marisu_ means malice, more specifically maliciousness--or cruel pranks." Mr. Smith said quietly. "In other words, meddling in the affairs of mankind."

"Coyote." Raven said quietly.

Mr. Smith nodded. "Yes. And Raven, come to that." He smiled at the purple haired half-demon. "Humans have many names for the _marisu_ that have meddled with them throughout history. Coyote. Raven. Loki. Eris. Puck. The list is nearly endless."

"A _marisu_ has enormous power, far more than even an über-superhero like Superman. Some _marisu_ come into their power early, as a child, or even a toddler. Those are the truly dangerous ones. A child with enough power to cause a supernova--but with no more understanding of the world than any other child." He shuddered. "Me, I came to my power at the age of eighteen. And fortunately, I had help. But that's a story for another time."

"All that being said, the one thing a _marisu_ most emphatically is _not_ is any kind of hero." He stared around the table solemnly. "That's really important for you to understand before I continue. A _marisu _simply can't be a hero, not even a superhero. We're way too powerful. We can't live in the world the way you can."

"Think of power as gravity. A leader has more power than a normal person. A world leader has more power still. They can shape the world around them--by their nature they can't avoid doing so. Just like gravity; it's a law of nature. Inescapable."

"Now a superhero is more than the sum of his or her powers. Robin _has_ no super powers at all for example--but every one of you agree he's a superhero, yes?" The others nodded.

"A superhero is a hero _all the time_. Normal heroes shape the world by their actions in small ways or large--superheroes do it just by doing what they do--like the sun shapes planetary orbits around itself just by _existing_. The more powerful the superhero--for whatever reason--the more gravity they have."

"Using that analogy, a _marisu_ is the equivalent of the super-massive black hole found in the center of galaxies. Not something you want living next door, hmm?"

"You certainly have a high opinion of yourself." Raven commented. Beast Boy shot a panicked look at Raven. But Mr. Smith just chuckled.

"Raven, have you ever heard Superman's Cardboard World speech?" He asked. The half-demon shook her head.

"It goes something like this. Superman is talking to Darkseid. You know who Darkseid is, right?" The Titans nodded.

"He tells Darkseid he feels like he lives in a world made out of cardboard. He has to be so careful not to lose control because if he does he could break something--or _someone-_-without meaning to. And then he notes that Darkseid is different, and that Superman has no qualms about showing _him_ how powerful he really is."

"Whoa." Raven said, impressed. Beast Boy whistled.

"Superman isn't a _marisu_, he's a superhero. Now take that speech and apply it to someone who can cause a star to go nova. Someone who can travel in time, change history, make anything happen--or not happen--or happen differently. Imagine being able to flit between the alternate universes as casually as you would walk across the street."

"Imagine someone too powerful to be killed by the combined armies of the world. Give that someone eternal youth."

"Then ask yourself one simple question."

"In a world where that _marisu_ is constantly, directly involved in the day to day lives of ordinary people--what happens to free will?"

Mr. Smith watched them. Each of the Titans looked thoughtful, even Beast Boy.

"I believe I know what you are trying to say." Starfire said after a while. "With great power comes great responsibility, yes?"

"No, Starfire. While that's true for leaders and superheroes it isn't true for _marisu_. For us there's another saying: _power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely._" He stared at them. "But I can tell you from personal experience that simply isn't true."

"You have absolute power then?" Raven raised an eyebrow. Mr. Smith nodded.

"On the scale of a planet--even a solar system, I do, yes. Across a huge swath of alternate universes. And across vast stretches of time."

"That would make you a god." Raven noted. John Smith shook his head.

"No. It makes me _marisu._ The Creator--call him God or Allah or The Universe or whatever you want--the Supreme Being is further above me than I am above a single quark. He _is_ the three O's: Omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent."

"Me, I'm none of these things. I have the power to change worlds, or destroy them, but not necessarily the wisdom to use it properly."

"But even so I think I do know a saying that best expresses God's situation. _Infinite power, infinite helplessness_."

"What? Dude that makes no sense. God can do whatever he wants!" Beast Boy said. "He's _God_."

"God gave us three great gifts, Beast Boy." Mr. Smith said quietly. "First, the gift of intelligence, not just life. Second, the gift of free will. Third, the gift of being left alone."

"Huh?" Beast Boy's head cocked to one side. "I get the first two, but that last one is a curse, not a gift."

"Is it? What do you think, Raven?"

"I think I see where this is going." Raven said flatly. "And I don't want to play anymore."

Mr. Smith shook his head sadly. "Too late, Raven. The game's afoot and you must play through."

"Trickster." Raven said heavily. Mr. Smith nodded.

"_Marisu, _Raven. Meddler."


	4. Inexorable Consequences

"What's going on Raven?" Robin asked, watching Mr. Smith steadily.

"He's going to tell us something I don't want to hear." Raven said in a flat, emotionless voice.

"Perhaps I am, Raven. But it's something you _need _to hear. All of you." Mr. Smith said. His tone was kind, but there was steel in it too. "I am _marisu_. This is what I do."

"Please, I do not understand! Do you seek to do us harm?" Starfire's face was distraught but determined. "If so, I _will _fight you, _marisu_ or not. I will not let you harm my friends."

"No, Starfire. Fighting you would be like kicking a puppy. I have nothing but the deepest respect for you--_all_ of you, and I don't want to fight. Besides, there's the whole _marisu_ vast-cosmic-powers thing."

"All I plan to do is thank you for being heroes. But by doing so I will be meddling. And given that I am _marisu_ that meddling will have consequences." He sighed. "One of the downsides to being _marisu_, actually."

"Wait, the _downside_ to being a _marisu_ is meddling? But I thought that's what a _marisu_ does!" Beast Boy complained. "Dude, make up your mind, you're making my brain hurt!"

"Hang on a second." Cyborg broke in. "Didn't you just say _marisu _have so much power they _can't_ meddle?"

"That would be God, Cyborg." Mr. Smith corrected the Titan. "_Marisu_ can intervene; it's just if we do it can change the course of history. At the very _least_. However, the Teen Titans have saved the world on what, four separate occasions? I think you can handle it."

"We saved the world once." Raven said. "From my father."

"Actually you're forgetting Malchior. And Larry. And the Nufu." Mr. Smith said.

"Malchior threatened the world?" Raven asked, startled. "How?"

"He was the last of the true dragons, Raven. Once released there was no one powerful enough to stop him. He'd have ended up ruling the world--and he _hates_ humans. The only way to stop him was the curse you used to seal him into the book."

"How do you know all this?" Raven demanded. "That part of my life is _private!_"

"I did say I was a fan, yes?" Mr. Smith answered gently. "Vast cosmic powers, remember? Just like Larry."

"Who watches everything we do." Robin said in disgust. "Speaking of Larry, you mean when Larry broke reality it might have destroyed the world?"

"Of course. Once reality had fractured it was a race against the clock. Larry had more or less lost his powers and Johnny Rancid could have stolen them to give himself the powers of a _marisu_. And you know how he delights in wanton mayhem. What more exciting show is there than watching the sun go _boom_, hmm? Johnny's not entirely sane you know."

"There's also the little matter of reality continuing to fracture, until the entire galaxy would have descended into a soup of primal chaos. Of course, Zarok might have been able to stop it before that happened--but Earth would be gone, and the Zarokeen might not have cared enough to put things back the way they had been."

"Dude, that's _scary_." Beast Boy muttered. Mr. Smith nodded.

"Fourth time's the charm, Beast Boy. The Titans have saved the world from magic, tofu, _marisu_, and a demon prince. You're _heroes, _one and all. I wanted to tell you that. I wanted to show each one of you that you're appreciated, that the sacrifices and pain you go through aren't wasted."

He looked around the table. "You don't hear it often enough. Thank you for being heroes, for doing what's needful, for stepping into the line of fire when no one else will."

"There's _you_." Raven's eyes started to glow white. "You have the power. You could have stopped my father, stopped Slade. You could have stopped all of it. _So why didn't you?_"

"Yes I could have. Like this." Mr. Smith said, watching Raven calmly. The glow snapped off in her eyes, she blinked.

"Feeling better now?" He asked. She nodded.

"What did you do to me?"

"I've blocked certain pathways in your brain. Your powers are gone, along with your ability to feel emotion. I also drained your anger so there won't be any backlash when I give your powers back."

He watched the shock on the other Titan's faces.

"I haven't hurt her. In fact I've already returned her powers to her. But this is exactly the kind of thing I've been talking about. This is why a _marisu_ can never be a hero. Yes, I could have stopped Trigon. By killing Raven. Or Trigon. Or burning out her superpowers so she would be useless as his gateway to your world."

He leaned forward. "But to do _anything_ I would have been taking away God's second and third gifts to her. She would never have the choice to become a hero. She would never have become strong enough to overcome the tragedy of her birth and her early life. She would have been crippled by guilt until the day she died. She would have been alone, never finding friends to lend her strength when her own failed her. And worst of all, she would never have known _why_."

"Raven, you defeated your father with the help of your friends. But _you_ did that. You fought back even when your father stacked the deck. You shouldn't have been able to win--but you did. He hadn't counted on your friends, and they were enough to tip the balance. But you wouldn't have _had _those friends without your conscious decision to be everything your father was not--brave, kind, helpful to others. Willing to sacrifice yourself to protect the innocent." He smiled.

"In short, you defeated your father because you chose to be a hero. Half-demon or not, fated to end the world or not--you _still_ chose the path of the hero. It was that choice--one I can never make--that saved the world."

"By the choices you made every day of your life, you have earned the friendship of other heroes, and your place in the light. You will continue to be the hero; you may very well save the world again. You'll certainly save many more innocents."

"You think you owe your friends a debt you can never repay. But it _isn't_ a debt--it's a bond. They _did _save you from your father. But _you_ saved them from him. It's a _balance_, Raven. They save you. You save them. Together, _all_ of you save the world."

Mr. Smith smiled at the gray-skinned girl. "I'm not a hero, I never will be. You can't count on me to save the day because I won't. That's the job of heroes. I meddle in the world to make sure God's gifts remain available for those who choose."

He looked around the table. "Some choose to be heroes. Some choose to be villains. The vast majority choose to be neither. But my job is to see that the choice remains open."

"So I meddle." He grinned suddenly, turning his attention to Beast Boy.

"Now it's your turn, wee green beastie."

"Who me?" The green skinned shape shifter gulped audibly.

"Your greatest fear is you let your teammates down because you aren't strong enough, right?"

"No! Um. Well, yeah, kinda." Beast Boy's ears drooped.

"If you let your teammates down so much then who was it that saved Raven from Adonis? Who convinced Thunder he and his brother were hurting people? Who was there for Raven after Malchior? Who was it that saved the day after the Brotherhood froze Robin?"

"Who saved the rest of the Titans from drowning--_twice_? Who turned Terra back from the dark side in the end? Who was it that gave her the choice to become a hero--and the chance to step away from the battle in the end?"

"You mean that really _was _Terra at the school?" Beast Boy said frantically. Mr. Smith nodded.

"Beast Boy, she's finally free to follow the life she always wanted. Thanks to _you_. Who saved the day when Control Freak slipped into the TVs of the world? Who saved the world from the Nufu? Who destroyed the Brotherhood's quantum generator? Who took on Slade _by himself _and fought him to a standstill long enough for Terra to kill him?"

"Heh, heh," Beast Boy rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "Yeah, I guess that was me. Who'da thunk, huh?"

"Without you the Titans would have fallen and the world would be nothing but rubble circling the Sun. You may not be the most powerful Titan, shape shifter, but you are vital. Not only to the Titans--but to a certain half-demon as well." Mr. Smith grinned as Beast Boy gaped and Raven blushed.

"I don't feel emotions you know." Raven said calmly, cheeks blazing.

"Then why are your cheeks so red, Raven? And I thought Robin and Starfire had a monopoly on denial!" Mr. Smith said. "Yes, yes, I know. It's none of my business. _Marisu, _remember?" Beast Boy was still watching Raven with his mouth open.

She swatted the back of his head.

"Ow." He said rubbing the spot. "That hurt."

Mr. Smith laughed at their antics. Then he turned his attention to the other Titan couple.

"And you two." He pointed an accusing finger at Robin and Starfire. "Took you long enough." He shook his head. "You know what? The number of alternate universes is as close to infinite as makes no practical difference. There are universes where one of you was never born, or died early, or you never met for a myriad of reasons."

"Here's the weird part though. In every single universe where you meet, you eventually end up together. No exceptions. _Anywhere_."

"Um, when you say anywhere--Robin said hesitantly.

"I mean there is not _one_ alternate universe where you and Starfire meet where you don't end up together. Not a single one. That's not to say there aren't any where you start off with other partners, or where you don't separate for a while, but the longest recorded separation is only 25 years. And that's in a particularly turbulent war-torn universe where both of you are much darker--almost but not quite evil. But even there you end up together in the end."

"So Robin and I are destined to be together?" Starfire asked slowly, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Yep. Like hydrogen and oxygen, sodium and chloride." Mr. Smith said happily. "And don't go all angst-ridden on me either, Koriand'r! Your feelings for Robin aren't some dark cosmic conspiracy to rob you of choice. It's just you two are such perfect soul-mates that in any universe where you meet, you always choose to be together."

He looked at Robin. "Dick Grayson you look me straight in the eye and tell me you wouldn't make exactly the same choice you made in Tokyo."

"No." Robin turned to Starfire and deliberately took her hand. "If I had to do it over again I'd have made the same choice--but I'd have made it _much_ earlier than Tokyo."

"Robin, I chose long ago." Starfire said softly. "And I would choose nothing else." Taking his other hand she said.

"_Gend'an knorf zeda tan hoosark, tadar rinsof_." And then she leaned forward and kissed him, much to the shock of the other Titans. Even more shocking, he didn't draw back, but returned her kiss, although in a rather formal way. Mr. Smith looked on approvingly. When they drew apart neither Titan was blushing.

"What did you just say, Star?" Robin asked.

She shook her head. "Tameranean language is very different from the English, Robin. The closest words I believe would be: _to you, the missing half of my soul, I vow love and protection past the death of the world, past the end of time itself._" She looked at him with serenity. "It is the vow those of Royal blood give when the match is by choice rather than political necessity. In the history of my people, it has been spoken aloud only twice. I am the third."

Robin froze, eyes widening. Starfire just watched him, serene. "Starfire--" Shock choked him for a moment, and then he shut his mouth with a snap. She didn't move, just sat placidly. Mr. Smith's words echoed in his head. _No exceptions--anywhere._ Robin's eyes narrowed and his face settled into a familiar and (to her) welcome expression. Determination.

"Star, I'm no good at talking--I do. Tell me what I need to do."

Starfire smiled and spoke.

"When Trigon came he ended the world, and time as well. You did protect me, as I did you. Past the death of the world, past the end of time. And in Tokyo, you made your choice. There is nothing more you need do to prove yourself to me. I also have chosen. It is done."

"About damn time!" Mr. Smith said, smiling widely. "Congratulations you two."

"You make it sound like they got married or something." Cyborg joked.

"They did, Victor Stone." Mr. Smith said seriously.

"Say what??!!!" Cyborg's human eye widened and his jaw dropped.

"The Royal Princess of Tameran made her vow-by-choice in the presence of her closest friends and comrades in arms. Her vow was accepted and returned by one proven worthy of her. She declared it done. That's it."

"But they aren't even 18 yet!" Cyborg protested.

"Tameraneans judge a person adult when they take on the responsibilities of an adult." Mr. Smith said. "If they're old enough to save the world--repeatedly--then they're old enough to marry. Of course California law is somewhat silent on interstellar marriage requirements, but the United States recognizes the right of a sovereign to solemnize marriage ceremonies--even their own. And while Starfire isn't currently the Grand Ruler of Tameran, she _is_ Grand Ruler Emeritus. Diplomatic usage allows her most of the privileges extended to a sovereign."

"Thus by both Tameranean custom and American law, they're married."

"Well fry my circuits and call me a toaster." Cyborg muttered, stunned.

"Married?" Robin echoed, blinking. Starfire nodded calmly. He blew out a breath and finally said. "Past the death of the world, past the end of time." He nodded. Starfire's answering smile lit up the room.

"So now that just leaves you, metal man." Mr. Smith grinned evilly.

"Um, that's ok." Cyborg said hastily. "I'm good."

"You are, aren't you?" Mr. Smith mused. "You know who you are now; you're comfortable inside your skin _and _your steel."

"You shaped the course of history when you fought with Sarasim to save her people in the distant past--and learned your heart was still human. When you met Mr. Fixit you saw what losing your humanity would _really _mean--and then you brought _him_ back from the edge of losing his."

"You found the answer to the Riddle Of Steel and used it to defeat Brother Blood and by so doing saved an entire city."

"When it came to the painful choice between destroying the one thing you loved above all else and doing what was right, you never hesitated. When you saved the rest of the Titans from Atlas you learned what strength truly is and won in spite of his technological superiority."

"You stepped up and learned that while you _could_ lead you prefer the vital but unglamorous support role."

"In short, you've learned who and what you are and have pride without hubris. That's a rare thing, Cyborg. I admire you for it."

"Um, yeah." Cyborg slumped, thinking he'd escaped lightly.

"But I can't let you go without meddling just a _little_, Victor. It's not in my nature." Mr. Smith grinned. "I must say this. Right now you don't have a special someone the way the other Titans do. But good things come to those who wait. And that's _all_ I'm going to say." He laughed happily.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" The waitress materialized beside the table.

"Anybody want desert?" Mr. Smith asked. Stunned and silent the Titans all shook their heads, even the bottomless pits Cyborg and Beast Boy.

"Just the check please." He answered. She nodded and put a small rectangular tray on the table. Mr. Smith put a credit card on the tray and handed it back to her. She left.

"So what happens now?" Raven asked. Mr. Smith blinked at her.

"Well, as soon as the waitress brings my card back I'll walk you to Jump City. Then I have to meet my wife, she just told me she's done shopping. As for you, you go on with your day. I'm sure you can find _something _to do." He smiled slyly.

"Oh, one more thing. Your peaceful interlude will last another two weeks. Then I'm afraid it's back to business as usual for the Titans. On Tuesday of the third week make sure you have lots of Super Soakers and a ton of vinegar to go with it." He winked. "Not saying anything more--I don't want to interfere _too_ much."

"Here you go." The waitress said, handing him the bill. He signed it and tucked his card away, then stood.

"Shall we?"

Still reeling from the enormity of lunchtime's revelations the Titans followed him out the door.

"Hey, my GPS just came back online!" Cyborg announced. Looking around the Titans found themselves outside the door of their own favorite pizzeria. A man came out with a pizza box, nodding to them and strode off down the street.

"Dudes! It's _open_." Beast Boy said in confusion, looking through the window and seeing the place bustling with customers.

"A little gift to you all." Mr. Smith said with a smile. "You've been really good sports about all this, it seemed only fitting." He shook Robin's hand and bowed to Starfire.

"Congratulations again, Robin, Starfire. I'm honored to have been there at your wedding. It was a pleasure and a privilege meeting all of you. I wish I could say I'll meet you again sometime, but that probably wouldn't be a good idea. So goodbye and good luck. I'll be watching, but remember I'm no hero. Don't expect me to intervene if things go pear-shaped."

"We're the Teen Titans." Robin replied. "Whatever comes up, we'll handle it."

"Yeah!" Beast Boy nodded happily. Mr. Smith nodded.

"I'm confident you will." He waved and walked away. The Titans watched tensely, making sure he wasn't going to come back. They saw him turn the corner and extend his arms, as though meeting someone. Then he walked out of their line of sight behind a building.

Raven suddenly relaxed. "He really is gone." She informed the others. "I can't sense him anywhere. Guess he went back to his universe."

The Titans started walking toward the T-Car.

"He mentioned his wife." Starfire said, tilting her head. "Do you think she was _marisu_ as well? Perhaps they have children also?"

Raven shuddered. "Starfire, some questions are best left unanswered." She glanced uneasily at Beast Boy who fortunately was walking in front of her and couldn't see. "_Definitely_ best left unanswered."

And somewhere, she knew, a _marisu _was laughing...


End file.
